Responsibility to your partner

63

By Rob Dee

What is unconditional love?

As I'm sure many of you have or have had a significant other in your life whether it be spouse, life partner, mate or whatever else you'd like to refer to them as, whether you're married or in a civil union, or what's known as "living in sin", I'm sure that you would care about their well being to some extent even. That's one of the benefits to having a significant other in your life - you've got their back and you would hope that they have yours. In many cases, this is a given, even if one partner is better at it than the other. This policy is in no way a free pass to nag your partner to paint the spare room, take out the trash or vacuum out the car....this sort of behavior doesn't have anything to do with looking out for your partner's well being.

Let me ask you this : If you noticed your partner to exhibit behavior that could be harmful to them or you, or even something that might even help them live a better life, wouldn't you try to steer them in the right direction, no matter what the cost? Even though no one wants to have a partner that acts as a dependant child, sometimes it's necessary to "take them by the hand" and assist them - especially if you have experience with the subject in question. I'm sure that if any one of us noticed our drunken partner getting into the drivers seat of a motor vehicle, that we'd do everything in our power to take the keys away from them.

For instance, if you suffer from depression, and your partner exhibits symptoms of going through the throes of a depressive episode, since he is undiagnosed and since you have experience with depression, don't you think it would be your responsibility to assist your partner in getting help the same as you would if your partner was bleeding to death? After all, your partner doesn't know the first place to start in regards to mental health, wouldn't you think that, if just for the sake of caring about another human being, you should be able to help guide them to the right place in order to get the help they need in order to get this affliction under control?

It falls under the same category as drinking and driving.

It also has to do with compassion.

No one wants to nursemaid their partner. In a perfect world, no one would suffer from depression, alcoholism, or insecurity. But I believe that, just as we would call an ambulance for someone who is injured, we should try to help guide and assist in regards to our partners well being...even if the love has gone out of the relationship.

I would have. It's just part of something called unconditional love.



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Comments

Pachuca213 2 years ago

good hub Rob! I remember a time when I was somewhat depressed. I was ashamed to say anything so I was pushing people away, the love of my life Tony was there to lift me up and he even admitted to me a time when he needed help for depression and even had to seek out a doctors help with anti-depressants due losing his first love. Although he was to blame for the break up by his bad behavior, her leaving him so suddenly pulled him into a whirlwind of depression. By him admitting it to me, and showing that he was there to help me- he did help. And I will never forget that. Now that he is gone, I get depressed even more than ever, but I am so glad to have good friends that also lift me up, as I would them! GOOD HUB.

Paradise7 profile image

Paradise7 Level 7 Commenter 2 years ago

Hey Rob, me again! I'm glad you wrote this. I think I made a big mistake once, and was an enabler to a person who was a functional alcholic. I didn't say too much...I didn't want to nag him to death; I thought it was social drinking but just more alchohol than I was used to or could handle myself. I think my acceptance of his drinking provided a smokescreen and made it more normal-seeming. What I should've done instead was try to make him get some help. You're right--you're so right. A partner DOES have some responsibility there. I hope your hub helps others not to make the same mistakes and to realize it; whether their parners are having problems with depression, or alchohol, or what have you, it behooves us to try to help.

Rob Dee profile image

Rob Dee Hub Author 2 years ago

Thanks for your comments! Today, i found a bit of closure. It was very hard for me yet answered a bunch of questions that i needed answered. We SHOULD try to help our partners, even though they might not want our help or want to change anything. i only wish my partner would have helped me when i needed it most.

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